NBA Nicknames

I love nicknames, especially when they’re clever AND fit the person they’re attached to. The reason behind giving the nickname can sometimes be more hilarious than the actual nickname itself. Most of these nicknames are not mine, though some are:

Michael Jordan – Cheese Eyes

Matt Barnes – EL DeBarnes

Kobe Bryant – Willie Winguy, Bean

Tony Parker – Top 5 Tony

Deron Williams – Deron BETTER, D-Will

Blake Griffin – Hellboy, Omega Red

Ricky Rubio – Slick Rick

Josh McRoberts – McRibs, McBobs, McRambis

Pau Gasol – MVPau

Andrew Bynum – Socks

John Lucas – JL3

Vince Carter – Wince Harder

Kevin Garnett – Studio Thuggery

Thabeet – Thabust

Adam Morrison – AMMO (always loved this)

Jameer Nelson – Goomba

Elton Brand – Dildo Baggins

LeBron – LeWorf

Stephen Curry – Young Spice, MILF son

Chauncey Billups – Mr. Big Shots

Gerald Henderson – Hendo

Stephan Jackson – S Jax

Nick Young – Young Gunner

Russell Westbrook – E.T., Russy

Dirk – German Moses, Kommandant Klutch

Amare Stoudamire – STAT

Zack Randolph – Z-Bo

Devin Ebanks – Ariza Jr.

Mario Chalmers – Super Mario, Superintendent Chalmers

Andre Iguodala – Iggy

Hedo Turkoglu – Turkey Glue

Sheldon Williams – Plankton

Anderson Varejao – Sideshow Bob

Lamar Odom – Odumb, Candyman

Jason Kapono – Krapono

Mike D’Antoni – postrophe

So, Lebron just jumped over John Lucas

 

Vince Carter’s dunk over 7’2 Fredereck Weis was better asthetically. Weis was taller so it was more difficult, etc…but that dunk happened 12 years ago, and as far as I know, nobody has jumped over someone for a dunk in the NBA. Lebron had to catch the ball and jump over a moving defender. The Vince dunk could have been over a garbage can. Weis was standing still AND made himself smaller by flinching. JL3 had his back to Bron and was moving into his path. It could have ended ugly (Well, it did….but for JL3, not Lebron).

LOL at dudes on Sports Center saying “it wasn’t Vince Carter over a 7 footer’ and “not even in Lebron’s top 800 dunks” INSTEAD of just appreciating a RIDICULOUS dunk for what it was. This dunk is akin to a BronHater ID card.

Dwight Howard on diet; doesn’t want Chips

Dwight Howard just wants to be big shit in a big, preferably warm, city. Half the places he wants to go are worse situations basketball wise than Orlando is, and the smart basketball related choices aren’t really on his radar.

I think the Lakers, with Kobe and Pau are a good fit, especially if a guy like Jameer gets thrown in. Sure, Orlando wants Pau/Bynum, but that won’t happen, and Bynum is the nicest player they’ve been offered for Howard so far. The Mavs are a great fit with Dirk and the signing of Deron Williams. Absolutely. But it won’t happen. The Nets with JUST Deron? No. The Clips? Sure. Great fit. With CP3 and Blake. But how can you possibly make that happen without trading important pieces? Chicago is a great fit. GREAT. But if you don’t want it, why should I want it for you? He just doesn’t have enough desire to play in Chicago. D-Rose is an elite PG. It’s just painfully obvious he wants to play with Kobe, D-Will, Cp3, or Dirk, and that’s it.

Dwight doesn’t have that eye of the tiger/competitiveness. About a week or two ago i saw a highlight of Glen Davis falling out of bounds and D.Ho coming over giving him help; keep in mind i think they were getting beat pretty badly. that shit was sad. Dwight’s cheesin’ and shit and i am thinking to myself “you down by double figures. what the hell are you doing?”

Unfortunately for all us basketball fans, we will continue to have to hear about these trade rumors AT LEAST until after the NBA All-Star Game in Orlando, since there’s no way in hell Orlando would let Howard come to the game in another teams’ uniform.

Lakers NEED a PG

Derek Fisher is a corpse. No amount of experience is helping the Lakers at this point. Steve Blake is having a good year, but he’s a back up PG at best. Rookie Darius Morris had his chance, but he dribbles too much and doesn’t have a really great shot. Rookie Andrew Goudelock has a nice shot, including a very nice rainbow shot, and enough confidence to actually shoot, but he’s not a PG; more of an undersized SG. Obviously, Deron BETTER is the best available option, but that all depends on whether Dwight signs with NJ or not. Deron looks uninspired right now, but he’s started playing better recently, improving his FG%. If that doesn’t pan out, we all know Houston wanted Pau Gasol, and still does. The Lakers could offer Pau and a draft pick for Kyle Lowry and Luis Scola. Recently, there’s been news of the Lakers possibly using their $8.9 million trade exception on Cleveland PG Ramon Sessions. He can handle the ball well, can penetrate the lane, moves well defensively, and has improved his jumper. Obviously kyrie is the man at the 1 in Cleveland so hopefully we can pull a deal for Ramon on the relative cheap.

PG Warz: Top 15

1. D.Rose – Last years’ MVP for a reason. He gets to the rim quicker than anyone else. His toe turf injury doesn’t seem to be an issue. His scoring is slightly down this year but his efficiency is up. Assist numbers are SLIGHTLY up.

2. CP3 – Paul controls a game better than anybody. He seemed to wear down at times last year, so it will be interesting to see how he holds up while playing so many back-to-back games.

3. Deron BETTER – He’s stuck on a shit team in Jersey playing with some D-League level talent. His FG% has improved recently, and the rising play of Marshon Brooks should help. Excellent court vision, and very strong in the paint.

4. Rondo – One of the best passers in the league. Always a league leader in steals. If only he could shoot.

5. Westbrook – T.O. prone, and at times too wild and out of control, but can take over a game whenever he wants.

6.  Lowry – One of the best all-around PG’s in the league. Has been on a severe shooting slump recently, but is a fairly good shooter. Still putting up good numbers though. Maybe the best rebounding PG in the L.

7. Ellis/Curry – Monta has stayed healthy so far…too bad Curry has that ankle which will probably give him problems all his career.

8. Kyrie – He’s got Cleveland winning games they have no right being in. Nuff said

9. Lawson/Miller – Andre Miller is still effective and can still run a team and he’s a big reason Denver has had the success they have had so far.

10. Top 5 Tony – He’s carrying the Spurs right now with no Manu and Duncan having one foot in the grave.

11. Rubio – Excellent court vision, excellent passer; he just can’t shoot well enough. Teams are going under screens and forcing him to shoot more. But who thought Minny would be close to .500 this far into the season?

12. Calderon – Not spectacular, but efficient – excellent shooting percentages across the board and the best assist-to-turnover ratio in the league.

13. Nash – Still the best shooting PG in the league. Assists are slightly down, but look at the Suns roster. Nash should end up in New York. He already lives there in the off season.

14. Darren Collsion – Very much like Calderon. Not spectacular, but efficient. Indiana is surprising a lot of people this year.

15. Jrue Holiday/Louis Williams – Both are playing very well for Philly, which along with Indiana, is a surprise team.

2012 Top 10 NBA Rookies To Watch

1. Kyrie Irving – Rubio is flashier, and gets wayyyy more media attention, but if you know anything about basketball, you know that Kyrie is far and away the best rookie in the L right now. He’s got Cleveland in/winning games they have no right to be in/winning. It’s too bad he’s got Anthony Parker and Omri Casspi to pass to, otherwise he’d be averaging close to the same assist numbers Rubio has. Also, Kyrie has one of the best crossovers i’ve seen in years.

2. Ricky Rubio – I seen him play in Spain long before he got drafted or played NBA ball. Excellent court vision, can thread passes through the smallest holes, BUT he doesn’t have a lot of confidence in his shot, which isn’t that good. For me, Rubio needs to have Brandon Jennings’ first year numbers to match all this hype. Honestly, if Kyrie was on Minny, they’d have a winning record right now.

3. MarShon Brooks – 2nd leading scorer in the NCAA last year. His game is VERY similar to Kobe Bryant’s. MarShon isn’t too athletic, but he’s very crafty. At #27 in the draft, he was a STEAL for NJ. Currently, he’s the 2nd leading scorer among rookies (only Kyrie averaging more), shooting 45.9%.

4. Kemba Walker –  Of all the rookies getting big minutes, Kemba’s probably the worst shooter, but he’ll put up numbers on Charlotte, especially with DJ Augustin down.

5.  Brandon Knight – Needs to work on shot selection, finishing, and keeping his T.O.’s down. His shot selection might always be crazy because he’s confident. Over-confident some times, but he wants to win the game for his team. But he’s not a gunner like say, Monta Ellis. Finishing, he keeps trying to do that right handed floater. He hits some difficult layups while absorbing contact which is surprising to me since he didn’t do that at UK. He needs to build up his upperbody to absorb that contact. His tempo is better than I thought it’d be. You can see the improvement. He’s not going one speed. He’s adapted rather well to the NBA game.

6. Iman Shumpert – For a Knick team starting Toney Douglas’ bum ass, Shump was a breath of fresh air when they started him. Finally, a NY draft pick that actually plays decently. Now he needs to think out the game instead of just relying on his athleticism. He has the ability to get into the paint and not stand around with the ball like Toney D.

7.  Norris Cole – The Heat have found their back up PG, but Cole doesn’t shoot anywhere near as good as Mario Chalmers, and he turns the ball over too much to start.

8. Tristan Thompson – Him and Kyrie will be very fun to watch the next few years, especially if the Cavs draft well.

9. Klay Thompson – Won’t get a lot of minutes behind Dorell Wright, but man can he shoot. Watch him improve.

10. Jan Vesely – No one’s really talking about him. Has the potential to be a GREAT defender. Moves his feet well. Never out of position. Quick hands and can rebound. Why he doesn’t get more minutes on this shitty ass team is beyond me. I’d really start Wall, Young, Singleton, Jan, & McGee.